Hottest Pokémon Characters

I love colorful, wholesome entertainment.  Especially in video games, like Dragon Quest, Super Sentai, and Pokémon.  I also love interpreting those wholesome things like a dirty old man.  

Pokémon is one of the most successful entertainment franchises of all time, with sales in the hundreds of millions of units.  The series focuses on its titular pocket monsters, which in the world of Pokémon are used in the everyday lives of people and also trained for combat against other Pokémon.  Pokémon trainers are always human, and sometimes they are Very. Attractive.  

I typically avoid rankings of hotness or sexiness in my blog posts, because I find it's mostly in poor taste.  But hey, I'm in my 30s and this is my blog, so it's the perfect theater to engage in some harmless bad taste.  I'm doing this exercise for Pokémon trainers because, well, they're among the least sexual human characters in all of video games, so my perverse instinct is to sexualize them.  

Ace Trainers

I identify as a heterosexual man, but I can appreciate male hotness.  As such, this is a ranking of ten male and ten female Pokémon trainers, 20 in total (actually 23 because all of my lists are lies).  I focused on named, non-generic characters, so these 20 characters are all Gym Leaders, Elite Four Members, Team Executives, and Pokémon Champions.  I don't watch the Pokémon anime series, so I won't be including the show's versions of any characters (sorry, Alain fans).  This means I must ignore the ALARMING amount of sexy Misty cosplay out there.  

I also asked a few friends for their opinions on the hottest Pokémon trainers, because I wanted some ideas coming from outside my own heterosexual male gaze.  Shoutouts to Alana, Brigid, Derek, Jeremy, and Paul for their input.  Asking my friends did help me notice a few trainers I may not have considered on my own, and their recommendations affected my picks.  However, these are still my own personal rankings and I stand by them.  I ranked these twenty characters by my own tastes and preferences in What Is Hot.  Chivalry is dead, so the men are going first: 

Sollosi's Top Ten Hottest Male Pokémon Trainers

Honorable Mention

Red and Blue

I avoided rating the player-characters in this article because A) that would be borderline pedophilia since I think they're all pre-teens; and B) I don't find any of them attractive really, beyond thoughts like "her hat is cute" or "he has good hair."  Red and Blue are the exceptions, though, because they're both former Champions that you can duel in a few games, and their grown-up versions from Pokémon Sun and Moon are good-looking dudes who I'm about 70% sure are in a relationship.  

Number Ten

Ilima

I run the risk of that "borderline pedophilia" rule here, since Ilima is probably aged 17 to 19, but I think he's one of the best-looking Pokémon trainers (I'm calling Trial Captains the Alolan rough equivalent of Gym Leaders) because he has undeniably great hair and an appealing androgyny to him.  Ilima is a cutie, but I'd be more into him if he looked a little more mature.  

Number Nine

Bruno

The beefiest beefcake of the Elite Four, Bruno is more muscular and rugged than just about any other trainer.  That's worth something.  If you go for muscles, you're into Bruno.  Personally... physique is a factor, but not the most important one for handsomeness.  So Bruno definitely rates, but not at the very top.  

Number Eight

Marlon

I guess I rate the men of Pokémon mostly by their hair or their build, because Marlon has both.  Body of a swimmer and the hair of a... sparkly ocean?  Regardless, I'm calling Marlon the handsomest gym leader or Elite Four member of Unova.  Seriously people, male swimmers have some of the most stunning bodies among all professional athletes.  The Summer Olympics is a pectorals parade.  

Number Seven

Sycamore

The first of MULTIPLE professors making this list has great hair and a sexy demeanor.  He screams "hot dad" more than any other Trainer, even Norman (who's literally your dad).  The Kalos region is inspired by France, and Sycamore could definitely pass for a hot French literature professor.  

Number Six

Volkner

Probably the most JPOP-boy-band-ready person on this list, Volkner has great hair and a very attractive, cool-guy-aloof demeanor. He also has a nice jacket (a plus) and his friendship with Elite Four member Flint is suggestive enough to make Volkner a little sexier.  Gen 4 is probably the least-sexy Pokémon generation (only he and one person on the ladies' list rated for me), but Volkner is a worthy representative.  

Number Five

Archie

Great body, great facial hair, and a pirate look that I enjoy very much.  Archie wears an all-black outfit with an open shirt in the GBA games, and a pirate-wetsuit-cape getup in the 3DS games, and honestly they both look pretty great.  I'd definitely follow him into a submarine or something to flood the world.  I mean, seriously, look at that beard.  

Number Four

N

Natural Harmonia Gropius (holy shit what a name) has one of the most unusual attitudes of any Pokémon villain, as a human raised outside human society and desiring to free all Pokémon from captivity, and having several personal, emotional encounters with the protagonist.  I feel that N's character is unusually alluring, plus his hair is incredible.  Definitely a beautiful boy, and could reasonably be called a Jesus or Moses figure.  Is that attractive?  Not sure, honestly.  I'll allow it.  

Number Three

Steven Stone

Pokémon's premier handsome rich boy has a cute face and hair, dresses well, and carries himself with a noble demeanor that adds to his attractiveness.  The fact that he's fabulously wealthy and has the status of Pokémon Champion also works in his favor.  Steven's extended presence in the gen 3 games is typically positive and heroic, but not in an annoying way.  One of the better Pokémon champions, and definitely the handsomest.  

Number Two

Kukui

Kukui has more testosterone than any other Pokémon professor, as he seems to sprint from scene to scene with boundless energy, has a (very cute) stable relationship with his wife, and also moonlights as a masked wrestler.  These are all attractive qualities in a man, and made even hotter when Kukui challenges the player with authority as the final boss of the gen 7 games.  Plus, I mean, look at that chest.  Kukui keeps a shirts-optional workplace and EARNS it.  

Number One

Willow

By far the most recent character on this list, as the player mentor in Pokémon Go, Professor Willow is a stone cold silver fox.  Willow is probably helped by having a more detail-rich art style applied to him than in most Pokémon games, but I don't want to discount this dude's hotness.  Fantastic hair, athletic build, and a certain communicated gentleness that I 100% dig.  I guess I'm into Pokémon professors, because I picked three in the top seven, heh.  

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And now it's the ladies' turn.  This list is less analytical than the male list, but also resulted in me paring down a list of 15+ rather than searching for candidates for the latter part of the list.  So here goes nothing.  

Sollosi's Top Ten Hottest Female Pokémon Trainers

Honorable Mention

Zinnia

I think Zinnia looks great, and the only reason she isn't on the list below is that she's an unusual character in a game I haven't played (the Alpha Sapphire and Omega Ruby remakes), and as such I don't have a handle on her personality.  But I love her look and had her penciled in the list before deciding to demote her to honorable mention.  She's evidently part of an ancient order dedicated to Rayquaza, Groudon, and Kyogre?  I don't really get it but she's cute as hell.    

Number Ten

Diantha

One of the most stylish women on this list (The coat! The bag!), Diantha has a great look overall, and I'm calling the intimidation factor of her Champion status a bonus (even in hotpants!).  An accomplished actress and fashion icon in addition to being Champion, Diantha is a very pretty lady who carries herself with class.  

Number Nine

Malva

Malva, who bears the rare distinction of being in the Elite Four AND a member of an evil team (Flare in this case), is sexy as hell.  Great overall look, especially the dope sunglasses.  And I didn't notice this pattern until it was far too late, but I think I really like exposed midriffs?  Shows up too often on this list.  Whatever.  Malva is hot as her fire-type monsters.  

Number Eight

Clair

Very sexy short dress with cool boots and cape, with an attitude communicating power and toughness (two things I love in the design of a female character).  Clair's haughtiness sets her apart from her cousin Lance (who was considered for the male list), but I find it sort of endearing.  She's a great trainer with a feeling of inadequacy that makes her more vulnerable.  I dig it.  

Number Seven

Skyla

Permit me to be gross for a minute, but Skyla got dem hips and is showing a lot of leg and midriff.  100% okay with that.  Skyla also has a very cute face and hair, but come on she's on the list because she's got on a sky bikini with a holster for her cell phone and makes it look good.  

Number Six

Karen

I could talk about Karen's figure, nice capri pants, and sexy-sinister demeanor, but really I just want her to step on me.  That's all I got.  

Number Five

Flannery

Flannery has a natural "girl next door" appearance, but her fashion sense is all about toughness and comfort and I really like it.  She's conventionally attractive, but also has a confidence that's extremely appealing.  Plus Flannery airs out her belly button and we've established that I'm into that.  

Number Four

Lorelei

Lorelei's miniskirt and glasses say "sexy teacher or librarian" and the curves and high heels say "sexy teacher or librarian from your S&M fantasy."  Lorelei belies her ice-type Pokémon and her ice-queen attitude by being hot as hell.  With apologies to Misty, Sabrina, and Erika, choosing the most beautiful lady from Pokémon's first generation wasn't challenging.  

Number Three

Cynthia

Cynthia is probably the second-strongest trainer on either list (other than Red), and her ferocious team of Pokémon kicking your ass at the end of the Sinnoh games adds to her allure.  Cynthia has great fashion sense, but really it's natural beauty and attitude as Pokémon Champion that do it for me. 

Number Two

Elesa

Elesa is a fashion model, and as such has dramatically different hair and clothing going from Black/White to B2/W2, but in both games looks stunning.  Pretty fascinating choice there (I prefer the second version with dark hair and puffy jacket), but it's her long legs and abundant confidence that make her the hottest Gym Leader in Pokémon.  

Number One

Olivia

Olivia checks all of my boxes.  Cool hair, sexy curves, confident, powerful, exposed midriff, and clearly over 21 years old.  She even has dogs (OK they're Lycanrocs) and you know I'm into that.  I was pretty dazzled when I first met Olivia in Pokémon Moon, and when she made a second appearance as a member of the Elite Four I decided that she was the most stunning character in Pokémon history.  I mean, look at that body.  She's sexy and she knows it.  

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Well this was fun to write!  Apologies if I was too gross, but this felt like a healthy outlet.  My brain is full of filthy thoughts on a daily basis (closer to hourly), and letting a few of them out was a relief.  And I won't lie: it was fun looking at image galleries of dozens of Pokémon characters and mentally playing Hot Or Not.  I also learned a few things about myself: I'm attracted to Pokémon professors, exposed torsos, and female Pokémon Champions and Elite Four members.  Good to know.  

Games-wise, I'm still playing Tales of Berseria and Shadows: Awakening, and want to finish both by the end of the month.  Writing this list made me also want to seek out and start up Alpha Sapphire or Omega Ruby.  Want to see what's up with that Zinnia lady.  I would definitely go with AS over OR, because have you SEEN Archie's facial hair!?